“Melancholia”

The story behind this piece is kind of a bummer. February 22 is the day we buried our son Cayden two years ago after a late miscarriage. I haven’t decided how I want to spend this day yet. I have a rather irreverent attitude towards death (I was thinking of making it a “death day” like Sir Nicholas in Harry Potter) while at the same time I have a healthy respect for the anguish it causes those of us left behind. Confusing, but perhaps that’s the way it should be. Anyway, I was in a bad mood. I wanted to create and I needed angry rock music. I had picked up a black canvas and Thousand Foot Krutch is on Spotify so my atmosphere was perfect and I even had a word-melancholia. I paired it with a flower because even in the midst of despair there is beauty, there is hope. His death left irreparable damage but I also know he’s with Jesus and that I’ll see him again. Of course I had to be dramatic with the colors to suit the black (color and mood). Blood red FTW. And I went with my favorite calligraphy font, the one I’ve affectionately labeled my “medieval” font. I can’t stop using it, it’s so bold and dramatic. Hopefully that wasn’t too much of a bummer. We as a society don’t seem to know how to handle miscarriages; in medical parlance it isn’t an “official” death but go tell that to grieving parents, they’ll rip you a new one. Of course it counts, of course that grief is real.