So Mondays are poetry days, but
I had to tell you about this stuff
when you shave and it gets rough
use Dr. Carvers to not get cut
That hurt me inside a little to write. BUT! BUT!
Where to start in this tale? I don’t really know. I’m not really a shaving aficionado, its something I do so that I won’t be out of uniform. Otherwise, I don’t. Unless Herself makes me.
So because I don’t do it regularly it becomes a really pain. And I’ve bought all kinds of expensive razors to lessen the pain. And for the most part it works. But that’s like… $1meeeeeelion dollars on razors and I want to be able to buy new cardboard boxes for shoes.
So the wife switched us to dollar shave club which has been, okay. I mean it hasn’t been bad at all but mostly I was just like “meh whatever”, because I don’t really pay attention to what I shave my face with as long as it doesn’t hurt me.
And then she bought this little green bottle. And I ignored it, because yeah, just use soap right?
Until last Monday, it was sitting there so I figured hell I’ll try this stuff. AND IT WAS AMAZING.
The bottle opened and glory shined
Angels massaged this face of mine
I gasped in awe as my face it shaved
without my hands moving in any way
it was like breathing and ever so easy
the way the razor glided along see?
I gaped, I stared, I swore, I wondered
at how a small little bottle thundered
out peace and happiness and joy
Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter is the best toy!
Seriously. I love the stuff. Not sure I have the budget for it on a daily basis but definitely keeping a bottle around for holidays.
So Herself upon seeing this post demanded I add a disclaimer that I was not paid in any way to write this and that this is -my- unvarnished opinion that she is not connected to or responsible for. Also the rhyme scheme contained in this post is so bad its practically weapon grade and is banned in most countries.